No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
