He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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