I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
