I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
