Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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