If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
