i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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