marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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