i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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