The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
