Tell her she can't have a vagina
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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