Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
