Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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