Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
