I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
