Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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