oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You pole danced in your parka.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
