Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize