just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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