some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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