her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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