pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
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