Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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