Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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