I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
