I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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