Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
