In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
