just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
