ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
