how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
