Bisexual people are plain selfish.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
this is an emotional support booty call
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
