i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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