You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
