The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Randomize
