Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
