So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
