i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
