dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
