He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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