Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
