Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
