Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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