Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
