at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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