He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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