Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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