Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
