Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
