so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
