oh god the rape fog is back!
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
